Eau Mega by Viktor & Rolf : Perfume Review

Goodness knows I’d love to support the daring darling Dutchy duo Viktor & Rolf, but readers, not only can I not do that in this case, I in fact loathe having to put this on my skin ever again! But alright, just one more time then, just for the sake of this review (the things I do for you!)… Eau Mega has a name I feel instant affinity to, it being a play on words on the last letter of the Greek alphabet, Omega. I wish I could say the same about the slogan (“Megafy yourself!” a kitschy pronouncement which alludes to the heroine portrayed in the ads, who “Megafies the world”), to which I just say… “Ugh…” The bottle in turn is as darling as can be, combining the boudoir luxury of a modern interpretation of the bulb atomizer and the brash boldness of a huge gold brand seal resting on a perfect, smooth cylinder. Try to spray with it though and you’ll immediately understand why I hate it! In order to apply you have to press the oversize logo-embossed seal between your fingers, and while this is indeed innovative, it can only be achieved by using both hands. As a result spraying your wrists or arms is out of the question. Conversely, an effort to spray a blotter or your wrist for the purpose of testing while at a store can be precarious. Will the bottle tumble and fall if you only use one hand while the bottle rests on the narrow shelf? Possibly. Will you look ridiculous if you instead try to juggle it in your hands while attempting to spray your wrist? Almost surely.



On to the perfume itself, which a clever Douglas assistant somehow managed to decant in a sample vial for me (dexterous!). I find the opening of Eau Mega rather affable, if not very creative: soft, musky freshness, dominated by the juicy green appeal of a luscious grass note. However, what follows is positively nauseating. This innocuous green shortly transforms into a watery, fruity mess. The reviews I’ve seen so far list pear as the dominant note, but I find it is watermelon that takes center stage. With intense clarity, the aquatic note of watermelon reaches its crescendo, supported by the more honeyed yet complimentary scent of sweet cantaloupe melon and traces of starchy banana peel. Yech! As if the watery freshness derived from these fruits was not quite enough, violet leaf adds its sonorous cucumber-y feel and basil screams “MORE”! The jasmine at the heart does its best to add warmth to the composition, but the efforts are in vain, while peony (not my favorite note under any circumstances anyway) adds an extra tinge of dislike for me. I find the drydown strangely divorced from the overall juicy feel of the perfume as it is surprisingly dry and betrays a subtle powdery tendency as well. The predominant base note is cedar. Any sweetness is left behind; in fact I daresay that the overall feel tends to become rather sour with the passage of time, something that even the emergence of subtle sandalwood and soft musk in the base fail to alleviate.

Images: via www.viktor-rolf.com